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Your wish, Your will, Your way

4/13/2014

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Tobin and I slept good last night. Even with my cramping scare yesterday, no contractions have shown during monitoring. This morning the cramping has decreased a bit and I am thankful. I am so hyper-in-tune to every feeling. I am under a microscope by my doctor, the nurses, and myself.

I have been without outside visitors for 18 hours now, but God has been with me. The nurse assigned to me the first night "just happened" to be working 8 nights straight. She is a ray of sunshine, laughter, and love. She often sits with me during the 30 minute monitoring time, telling me that sometimes babies just need to be held, but I really think she knows that sometimes mama's need to be held and comforted. She shared with me that she was called to this profession, specifically OB, and that is so very evident.

This morning I took a nap and shortly after I woke up, the housekeeper who comes in to tidy my room came in. We were chatting, she learned of my faith, and told me her story. She told me a few years ago she threw up her hands to God and said, "Your wish, Your will, Your way." Since then God has worked wonders in her life and with the biggest smile on her face she said, " I just have peace." She told me that she felt the anointing of God in my room and prayed over Tobin and I with such love in her heart. With tears in both our eyes we embraced. Such a powerful moment.

God is giving me angels and I too am saying: Your wish, Your will, Your way.

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    Author

    I am Jackie.
    I am a child of the one true King.
    I am a wife to my high school sweetheart, Kevin. 
    I am a mom to my three sons - Hackett, Koen (my little angel), and Tobin. 
    I am experiencing loss, heartache, and grief.  On May 27, 2013, at 26 weeks and 6 days I went into the hospital with contractions, only to learn that my Koen's sweet little heart had stopped beating.  
    Tobin was born July 8, 2014.
    I am on a journey . . .

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