Two years ago
It was a Thursday, we got to school early because Hackett was so excited for the Valentines party they were having that day. I was carrying a grocery bag with two half gallons of ice cream. Students were not allowed in their classrooms yet, so we walked up the hall to look at a bulletin board. I felt a sudden whoosh, and fear set in. Trying to remain calm I handed the ice cream to Hackett, told him to go wait by the principal, and sprinted to the bathroom. I sat down on the tiniest of toilets, and my heart shattered when I saw all the blood. I was only 16 weeks pregnant. I walked down the hall shaking, and there was my panicked little guy, crying in fear, because I bolted so quickly. I held it together for his sake, reassured him, mouthed to the principal what was happening. Terror must have been on my face as two of my favorites gave me hugs as I called my doctor and Kevin. As we waited in the ER room, I told Kevin, I'm done. I can't bury more babies. Two years ago today, the fight for Tobin's life began. His heart was still beating, he looked safe, there was little explanation for what had occurred, but with my history it was necessary for me to do everything in my power to protect his precious life.
Birthdays feel different
I started to write this a few weeks ago, and after searching for my Facebook post, I was unable to write more, and it has taken me a few weeks to gather my thoughts and emotions.
I am Jackie.