Two years ago

It was a Thursday, we got to school early because Hackett was so excited for the Valentines party they were having that day. I was carrying a grocery bag with two half gallons of ice cream. Students were not allowed in their classrooms yet, so we walked up the hall to look at a bulletin board.  I felt a sudden whoosh, and fear set in.  Trying to remain calm I handed the ice cream to Hackett, told him to go wait by the principal, and sprinted to the bathroom.  I sat down on the tiniest of toilets, and my heart shattered when I saw all the blood.  I was only 16 weeks pregnant.  I walked down the hall shaking, and there was my panicked little guy, crying in fear, because I bolted so quickly.  I held it together for his sake, reassured him, mouthed to the principal what was happening.  Terror must have been on my face as two of my favorites gave me hugs as I called my doctor and Kevin.  As we waited in the ER room, I told Kevin, I'm done.  I can't bury more babies.  Two years ago today, the fight for Tobin's life began.  His heart was still beating, he looked safe, there was little explanation for what had occurred, but with my history it was necessary for me to do everything in my power to protect his precious life.  

My poor high school students were left abandoned and wondering what had happened to me, but the amazing staff swooped in to cover my classes that day.  That afternoon I met with my principal and the search for a long term substitute began.  

I fought for 21 weeks for Tobin's life - first from a chair, and then from a hospital bed.  Tonight I rocked him to sleep, after he danced on our bed for an hour, making the three of us belly laugh.  Two years ago I thought he died, but he LIVES.  Man does our Big T live, he is an enjoyer of life, bringer of joy, and giver of love.