My heart and prayers have been focused on others, there is just so much sad in this world. I learned yesterday, that a dear friend I met while living in California, has had cancer return to her body after being cancer free for almost three years. Malayni's faith and joy bubbles over even when faced with her first battle, stage 3B triple negative breast cancer. It required an ungodly amount of chemo, surgeries, and radiation. All while raising her daughter, who is now in 2nd grade, on her own. She is crushed by this blow that she received yesterday. She does not know the diagnosis or scope yet. She is amazing and she is a fighter.
I am feeling the "why" question bubble inside of me again. I know we live in a imperfect world, infections occur, accidents happen, diseases exist, but I will never, in my earthly life, understand why God intercedes for some and not for others. Why didn't he heal the infection in my placenta last year that caused Koen's death? Why didn't he protect little Isaiah? Why was Malanyi healed from cancer three years ago, but now He allowed it to return? I ask these why questions, but at the same time I have a miracle living in my tummy. My Tobin, who could have very easily arrived at 24 weeks is now at 30.5 and counting. God has interceded this time and I am so grateful. I see His power at work all time. It is hard to understand why He says yes sometimes and no others. So difficult for our human minds to comprehend. I have to rely on faith. I have to have faith, because I will never understand. What I do know for certain is that even when horrible events occur in this imperfect world, Jesus is there to hold us and comfort us. I have felt this comfort, even when I should have been in hysterics, I have felt His peace wash over me. I can't take away the pain from these two precious families or answer the why for them, but I can pray for the peace and comfort that only He can give. Will you please join me in that?