Six years ago today our moving truck left California loaded with our entire house. On February 4th, we pulled out of driveway, in Brentwood, for the last time. It has me reflecting on our life, our journey, the impact - both positive and negative on our kids.
Ask Hackett where he is from, I am not sure what his answer will be. Last year at this time, I watched him get stumped by that question. Its a question that should be so easy, but for him, so many layers. Where was he born? Where is he most recently from? Where he lives now? I think, just recently, he is feeling more and more connected to our life here, 18 months post (our most recent) move. Last night we went to the varsity basketball game, and he was sporting some "Pirate" gear (even thought the "Lancer" sticker is still on my car - even my car is confused!). I asked him as we walked in, "are you a pirate now?". His reply, "I still have some Lancer in me too." And I think he always will. Me too.
Our hearts seem to spread across the country in a few different towns that we were lucky enough to call home, even if it was only for a few years. I am a planner, it is how I manage my stress, but Kevin's job, and this life we have doesn't allow that. I don't know where Hackett will play sports in high school, where Tobin will start kindergarten, or what high school either of them will graduate from. Its not easy to be on the outside, trying to figure out where we fit, starting over - over and over again. Especially for my introverted-self. Yes, I am a complete introvert, but have been forced out of that box for survival. It seems easier for Kevin, he has a servant heart, and freely gives of his time at each stop. Today he sported his HB shirt and worked from morning until night as our town hosted basketball games.
In so many ways the blessings outweigh the hardships. Our moves have made our circle grow. I have had the honor of making forever friends, people I would have never met, lives that would never had poured so much love in to my life and my family. As I have lived and know so well - with great love comes great loss. And every time we move, I leave those I have grown to love big, and with that great loss. We may not know where we are from, but we know we have been blessed with each move, each new group of people we have met. We are who we are because of meeting so many of you, you are where we are from ...
I am Jackie.