Celebrate the Sadness
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Today is a better day

1/18/2014

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I want to thank so many of you for your prayer support. I am feeling them. The bleeding is getting lighter and is no longer red. I am thankful for that. I experienced bleeding with Koen as well about this same time. When it happened with him I was curled up in a ball crying too. It is a scary experience. One that requires faith and prayer.

I have reflected on the news of my shortened cervix. News that I received while teaching (it was call then or wait until Monday). They are being cautious. I don't think it is that much shorter than the norm. If it is verified to be shorter than they are comfortable with, then there are procedures that can be done to assist me with that issue. Is it still freaky? Yes, but I have settled down.

Many of you have sent me messages and texts. I am struggling to reply today. I am just in a quiet place. Thank you for reaching out - it truly means so much.

Kevin has been working a rotating shift schedule since September and we are ready for it to be over. He is working 12 hour shifts this weekend. Thankfully my dad picked up Hackett today and is keeping him for the night. Fun for Hackett and rest for me. While Hackett was packing this morning he asked if I thought Koen would go to Bumpa's (my dad) with him too. With tears in his eyes he told me he thought Koen is going to follow him in the clouds everywhere he goes in this life. He often comes in from outside and explains messages he sees from Koen in the clouds. Faith like a child.

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    Author

    I am Jackie.
    I am a child of the one true King.
    I am a wife to my high school sweetheart, Kevin. 
    I am a mom to my three sons - Hackett, Koen (my little angel), and Tobin. 
    I am experiencing loss, heartache, and grief.  On May 27, 2013, at 26 weeks and 6 days I went into the hospital with contractions, only to learn that my Koen's sweet little heart had stopped beating.  
    Tobin was born July 8, 2014.
    I am on a journey . . .

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