Puddle of emotions

On Saturday night I ended up in the ER, because my swollen leg pain was so severe that there was concern of blood clots. The whole experience was traumatic for me as I had to leave Tobin at home with Kevin and feared the unknown. My sweet baby had just be given to me and I was afraid of being admitted back into the hospital. Thank God there were no blood clots and I was able to return home.

My leg pain continues and it is severe. This morning while getting ready to take Tobin for his first doctors visit my legs were aching and throbbing while standing. I was in tears from pain and we decided it was best for me to stay home. Kevin took Tobin and I have just been laying in bed in tears, frustrated that I am still struggling. I feel like a puddle of emotions. I have held it together for months, but now the relief, joy, pain, and frustration seem to be spilling out. I am sure the hormones are to blame for some of this too.

I have to go in today for more blood work to check my liver, as my levels were slightly elevated at the ER. I am waiting to hear from my doctor about my leg pain to see what can be done. My blood pressure is still running on the higher end and I am on the same medication to assist in controlling that. I can't even put into words how thankful I am for my healthy baby, but now I wish I was feeling healthy too so I could enjoy, experience, and savor these moments I have longed for and fought for.