Picking up Hackett from school

I am not sure what we were thinking.  We weren't able to think, that was most likely the problem.  We thought that Kevin would go to work on Thursday.  Yes, I had been through the delivery of a baby on Monday, but I was given very few restrictions.  Or maybe I was and don't recall or wasn't listening.  I felt sore, but not bad.  What a difference between a vaginal birth and a Cesarean.  Physically nothing was slowing me down.  I gave birth, but had nothing.  There was no baby to care for.  Nothing forcing me to sit in a rocking chair.  Time may have felt like it was standing still for me, but life was continuing on all around me and I could not stop that.

So on Wednesday afternoon I decided to go with Kevin to pick up Hackett from school.  I didn't want to face everyone by myself on Thursday for the first time.  My main goal was to hold myself together, in an attempt to maintain some sort of normalcy for Hackett.  We walked into the school hand in hand.  As I began to see the people who knew what had occurred they silently gave us enormous looks of empathy, but graciously kept their distance.  I am still so thankful for that.  I still remember the faces and eyes welled up with tears.  One of those sweet faces, saw us, quickly turned and wiped her tears away, and turned around with a smile.  

Kevin and I had not been alone with Hackett since we were admitted to the hospital.  We wanted to feel normal, for Hackett to know that his world was not going to come to a crashing halt.  He had been waiting for a book to be released and Kevin had a strong desire to purchase a punching bag.  We decided to go, the three of us, to run some errands.  While we were driving Hackett had so much he needed to get off his chest.  He needed us.  He talked the whole way.  One thing that was shocking to him is that my parents, who had divorced years prior, had talked and hugged when they made the exchange of his care on Monday.  He just kept saying, "isn't that weird?", knowing that it was out of the norm ... and it was.  Sometimes with tragedy, healing can occur.  He witnessed that healing first hand and wanted to make sure that we were aware that something of that magnitude had occurred.  He saw the Lord at work.

We went to the mall, the bookstore and sports store.  Both Hackett and Kevin were happy making their purchases.  It was a glimpse for me that we could continue to move forward as a family.  I was tired, but comforted to just watch them both.  Kevin then needed to go a buy a chain to hang the punching bag in the shed, so we ventured to Home Depot.  More walking and standing.  I felt dizzy and cramping started.  It was time to go.  I had over done it, but the normalcy and escape felt so good.