We move in just a few days. I have been longing and dreading this week. I hate living in limbo, its so uncomfortable for me. Change is hard, and anticipating the change, even harder. I have been telling Kevin for over a month that I just want to hit the fast forward button, we're exhausted, and ready to live a "normal" life again. Today was what I was dreading. We said goodbye to our people. And it broke my heart.
When we moved here from California my heart was broken too. I had told Kevin I didn't plan on making new friends, I already had them. My heart hurt so much that I closed the door. What I learned is that there was space for more. I hear from my California Crazy Love girls almost on a daily basis. We are in constant contact, I know what is going on in their lives, and them mine. They are my biggest cheerleaders and prayer partners. But God knew that I needed a crew here too. I would need people to pick me up at my darkest moments, he knew Hackett needed kids in his life. One by one he brought me my people. Their entire families have woven themselves into ours. They have become our family. Their kids like my own. Hackett who was an only child for so long, was able to not feel that loneliness because of these precious kids. These same kids don't stop doting on Tobin. I am afraid he will believe his whole life that he should be the center of attention because of them. They are our people and now we are leaving. Once again, we are leaving people who have given us so much of themselves,
I don't think it was possible to pack in more memories this week. We did it all, and it filled our hearts. Today was our last planned adventure with our kids, and my fellow momma's and I decided, we wouldn't say goodbye, because it wasn't. But as I put my boys in our car, I saw the panic on Hackett's face. He knew it was the end, and it hurt him more to not say goodbye. Out of the car we piled and my brave boy gave these special kiddos and their momma's one last hug with tears streaming down his face. We will see them again, often, because I can't fathom not. But the easiness is now gone. We said goodbye to the impromptu that we excel at. The hour here and there. The you take that kid, and I'll take this one. The come over for dinner tonight because you need a break. The soccer games. The summer filled with constant giggles, I will miss you and your kids more than words can describe. Thank you for holding us up when we could not stand. I love you my people, so much.
I am Jackie.