Our Little Muffin

We moved back to Michigan in February of 2012.  We took a few months to get settled and then decided it was time to start growing our family, even though my fears of starting all over again made me apprehensive at first.  This time it didn't come quite as quickly as it did with Hackett.  With each month that passed with no baby, my apprehension decreased and my desire to have a baby increased.  By fall my arms were aching for a baby and so was my heart.  In November I had an issue arise and needed to find an OB/GYN.  I did a google search, found an office, and was assigned to Dr. T.  When he learned that we had been trying for months unsuccessfully, he wanted to schedule an appointment for me to come into to see him in January. 

In December, about a week and a half before Christmas, we learned I was pregnant!  In the months prior I had taken many pregnancy tests, only to see the negative results.  This time it took multiple tests and even two days to give me the proof I needed to confirm that I finally had a precious little baby beginning to grow inside me.  Kev and I were overjoyed!  We decided to share the news with Hackett, he beamed and said (regarding a sibling) "I didn't think I was going to get one of those".  He started to make plans for bunk beds and think of names for his new little brother or sister.  I quickly ordered a big brother shirt for Hackett so we could have him reveal our big news to our families at the upcoming Christmas gatherings.  I started talking to my belly early in my pregnancy and the words "Mommy loves you my Little Muffin" came out of my mouth.  The name Little Muffin stuck and that is what we continued to call Koen.

In January I went in for an ultrasound and we got to see our Little Muffin and his beating heart.  It was magical and we were in love.  In January I met Dr. T, and instantly trusted him.  Such a kind and genuine man, I felt that God had steered me to the right doctor and I was so thankful.  In the first few months I had periodic spotting and I was so scared.  I curled up in a ball in bed crying while I waited for the return call from my doctor on the weekend when it first occurred.  I remember thinking, I can't lose my Little Muffin, I have wanted him for so long and already felt so attached.  My ultrasound in January verified that it was a Subchorionic Hematoma, which is when some blood gathers between your uterus and placenta.  It was normal, occurs often to preganant women, and is okay; just something to watch.  With time the spotting went away and so did my fears of losing my precious Little Muffin.  I thought we had made it to a point of safety ...