My miracle and my angel

Ten years ago I was admitted to the hospital while I was pregnant with Tobin.  Without warning or preparation they sent me to labor and delivery at just 21 weeks pregnant.  My first 24 hours there it was a parade of doctors all preparing me for Tobin's very early arrival and all the risks that would accompany that. Just a short ten months prior to this I was 27 weeks pregnant with Koen and I was in labor and delivery without warning too.  We never left the hospital with Koen.  

I am still unpacking the trauma of that heart wrenching year and the impact it had on so many facets of my life.  I am forever changed.

Last week Tobin had a really difficult week at school.  His heart is huge, he fiercely fights for injustice; he sees the world differently; his brain is loaded with so much, so many words, and so many feelings. I cannot even begin to imagine what God has in store for his life, but his kid journey to get to that place may be a bumpy and difficult ride at times.  I worry and ache for his little heart that is so big. I am reminded to trust the God who carried him to safety 10 years ago.  In that first 24 hours at the hospital they told me "if he makes it to term it will be a miracle".  He is our miracle. God carried him then and he is carrying him still. Shaping him, growing his passions and imagination, strengthening his empathy, and filling that little brain with more knowledge than I can comprehend.  

After T's hard week we reminded him of his miracle status, that he is never alone even when it feels like it.  And then Tobin talked about Koen being with him.  I believe they are always together.  What will God do with my miracle who has his very own angel at his side in this life?  What an honor to be a mom to them both.