I have started to write about the most precious gift we received at the end of the school year a few times, but was unable to find the words. Today, on what would have been Koen's birthday, it seems like the perfect time to share the gift from our dear friends in his honor. Our elementary buildings are split - Kindergarten through second in one building, and third through fifth in another. This spring Hackett finished his time at our beloved BCEL. The staff, the parents, the community, wrapped us up in their arms, even before they knew us that well, when tragedy struck. As a result, we fell in love with this precious elementary, and all it represents. I was heartbroken to leave. It will be a few years before Tobin will be ready to attend, but Koen will never walk through those doors. I was very open about my sadness in leaving the buidling, but never my sadness about Koen not attending. Then three beautiful books by Nancy Tillman, (Whereever You Are My Love Will Find You, I'd Know You Anywhere My Love, and On the Night You Were Born) showed up at my door that were being given to the BCEL library in honor of our Koen:. This beautiful inscription:was inside:
This book is dedicated to the Soper Family in honor of their precious son, Koen, born on May 27, 2013. Koen will always be loved and remembered by the families of BCEL.
Overwhelmed, overjoyed, and touched beyond words. I had read never read Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You, until then. Or so I thought, last week I found a copy of it tucked away. My mom had given it to us at Easter in 2013, a month before Koen was born, his Easter gift. This book. I have no words. But I want to memorize the words of this book to recite to all three of my boys. It leaves me with tears streaming down my face.
Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You by Nancy TIllman
I wanted you more than you ever will know, so I sent love to follow wherever you go.
It's high as you wish it. It's quick as an elf. You'll never outgrow it ... it stretches itself!
So climb any mountain ...climb up to the sky! My love will find you. My love can fly!
Make a big splash! Go out on a limb! My love will find you. My love can swim!
It never gets lost, never fades, never ends ...
if you're working ...
or playing ...
or sitting with friends.
You can dance 'til you're dizzy ...
paint 'til you're blue ...
There's no place, not one, that my love can't find you.
And if someday you're alone, or someday you're sad, or strike our at baseball, or think you've been bad ...
just lift your face, feel the wind in your hair,. That's me, my sweet baby, my love is right there.
In the green of the grass ... in the smell of the sea ,,, in the clouds floating by ... at the top of a tree .. in the sound crickets make at the end of the day ...
"You are loved. You are loved. You are loved," they all say.
My love is so high, and so wide, and so deep, it's always right there, even when you're asleep.
So hold your head high and don't be afraid to march to the front of your own parade.
If you're still my small babe or you're all the way grown, my promise to you is you're never alone.
You are my angel, my darling, my star .., and my love will find you, wherever you are.
Tobin and I took all three books to and read them to Koen before we dropped them off at the school library. It is one of those memories that will forever be etched in my memory. Reading such words of truth and love to both my youngest babies and weeping with them. I love them both all that I am. I wish they were both on this earth with me, but know there is no scenario would that would have ever happened. Wherever any of my boys are my love will find them..