I have had a tough week emotionally. I have been doing so good at school staying focused, accomplishing tasks, and working well past my allotted "hours". Today I had trouble focusing. I have along list of things to do, but had to check out for the day. I hoped I would be more productive with my schoolwork at home this evening, but I am still struggling. The idea of seriously considering getting pregnant again has brought me to my knees - emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. It has stirred so many feelings.
These past few weeks I went through photos on my computer. Finally developing and getting photo's on our walls. All of my photographs are stored in date order. I feel like even that tells our story. I wanted to document here, some of that journey in photographs. It is all part of my journey.
Very newly pregnant ... our family didn't even know yet. I can see the joy in my face.
February in Chicago. I remember being so tired this trip and it shows.
Our high school girls basketball made it to state semi-finals in March. Koen kicked that whole game. I remember it so fondly.
In April at Easter. Our best "family" picture.
Hackett grabbed my camera on Easter and wanted to take a picture of my belly. I agreed. I would have never suggested documenting my belly growth, but willingly would honor my Hackett's request. Now it is one of my most treasured photographs. A cropped version hangs on my bedroom wall and is a banner on this website.
We found out this day that Koen was a boy. I bought the outfit Hackett's doll is wearing - it said "Little Brother". I picked Hackett up from school and brought him to the car to tell him the news.
Look at his joy and excitement to be a big brother ...
At the Big Brother/Big Sister class at the hospital. Hackett was the star student. I am happy we did this, as sad as it is, because Hackett was able to see the maternity rooms prior to me being there.
Just a few weeks before Koen was born.
I took this picture 7 days before Koen was born to text to my friends so they could see how big my belly was getting.
I snapped a picture of this the day before Koen's birth. Hackett was upset and expressing his feelings on the deck. I am mad too ...
Koen's birth came and went without a single personal picture taken. The only picture I have is one I quickly took of the outfit I selected to bury him in.
I am Jackie.