That morning after our family left the hospital it was just Kevin and I. I had to get dressed. I put on the same clothes I had entered the hospital in, but now there was much more room. My belly had collapsed so quickly. The nurses processed our discharge, but it seemed so easy that I stopped at the front desk to ensure we were okay to leave. The nurse knew who we were, and quietly told us we were okay to leave, with pity in her eyes. I walked towards the elevator and there was a statue with a mom holding a baby. I just stared at it - heartbroken. I had arrived 27 hours earlier with contractions, knowing that things were not great, but never believing that I would walk out of the hospital with empty arms and an empty belly. Koen was gone. Already at the funeral home. How did we get here? Rain was pouring from the skies as we exited the hospital doors. The heavens were crying with us.
I am Jackie.