I will fight
On Wednesday, I was admitted to the hospital. The treatment plan changed from my doctors initial gut reaction of doing a cerclage, which is putting a stitch in the cervix to help it remain strong. When my specialist arrived at the hospital on Wednesday evening he told us he had been thinking about us all afternoon, reviewing my history, and conferencing with my regular OB. They both kept going back to my healthy, uneventful, full term pregnancy with Hackett. My cervix remained strong for him, and no surgeries or changes have occurred to my cervix since Hackett's birth. My understanding is that gives them faith in my cervix and its ability. There was no reason to monitor my pregnancy closely with Hackett and I may have walked around with a 1cm cervix for months with him. May have. There is no way to know. They don't prefer to do cerclage's this late in pregnancy, because there is risk. One thing being trapping infection. A real concern given my history with Koen. To rule out infection an amniocentesis would need to be taken (taking a sample of the amniotic fluid), but once again there is some risk associated with this.
So they devised a new plan, with less risk. Last year when we visited the specialist after we lost Koen, he told us that his priority was for us not to lose another baby for any reason. I trust that and his recommendations. The current plan to to administer medicine that will help both my body and Tobin's. They gave me 24 hours if Magnesium Sulfate via IV to help reduce internal bleeding risks for Tobin if he were to arrive early. I had two big shots of steroids to help boost the development of Tobin's lungs for the same reason. I am getting progesterone to help strengthen my cervix. I am also getting a 7 day dose of Zithromax via IV. Zithromax is safe for Tobin, and has been proven to fight off early infections in the placenta. We don't know if there is an infection present, but taking into account what happened with Koen, there is that possibility. Infections in the womb can weaken the cervix, so potentially it could be a cause. It's kind of a "it won't hurt, why not try it" approach. On Monday, I will have an ultrasound to get a new measurement of my cervix. If it remains at 1cm, I am not sure what will happen, maybe go home on bed rest or maybe stay put? I haven't pressed this issue, and am patiently waiting to see what Monday's news brings us. If my cervix is even shorter on Monday, I am quite sure I am not going anywhere. (Please don't quote anything medically that I have listed here, this is all based on my understanding and it is highly possible that I don't have everything exactly right!)
The neonatal doctor spoke to us on Thursday. That was difficult to listen to, as they clearly define the many things that could go wrong and potential treatments that would occur if Tobin were born premature. Today, I am 24 weeks 4 days. Yesterday, I realize I posted that same stat on Facebook, but I was a bit over zealous and miscounted. On Tuesday, I will be 25 weeks. Life is possible for Tobin, today, outside my womb, but not a sure thing, and he will have a fight. With each week he stays in my womb his chances are better and better. At our ultrasound on Wednesday he measured about a week ahead. Kevin and I are firmly believing that we make big, strong boys. At 26 weeks 6 days, Koen was 2lbs 13oz. He measured big for his gestation. That gives me hope. Tobin is fighting hard right now, he's not contracting, and at 24 weeks my nurse is extremely please with his strong heartbeat. I am proud of my boy!
There is nothing fun about being away from home, being separated from Hackett, and living in the hospital. But, I will gladly lay, minimize movements, be pumped full of drugs, and fight for as long as I need to. I want to fight to keep Tobin in, so that his battle is easier. It is possible that I can carry him to term and then his only battle will be fighting off our kisses!
We will happily be added to any and all prayer chains! We thank you from the bottom of hearts for all of your much felt prayer support. I am standing in faith that my Tobin will run in my backyard and play in the creek with his big brother Hackett, as Koen looks over them both from heaven.
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I am Jackie.