Tobin and I awoke to the sun slowly lighting up the sky over the Pacific Ocean, just north of Monterey, in California this past Saturday. It started as just a pale blue and quickly added shades of pink. It was spectacular. Seven of my dear girlfriends were still asleep as I held Tobin and just soaked in the beauty. I see Koen in little things every day, but when I look at the sky is when I feel the closest to him.
So much travel encompassed our trip, a bit daunting for my four month old and I, but Saturday was worth the many hours traveled. God put these amazing women in my life six years ago, they are gifts. I drank in their laughter, smiles, and buzz of chatter. I wished I could have bottled it up to bring back to Michigan with me. It was like I never left with these dear friends who know how to love God, their little families, and friends with their whole heart. We had a weekend long high school sleepover, minus all drama. The weather was gorgeous. We hit the beach after breakfast, after lunch, and at sunset.
At sunset I saw Koen again. After the sun disappeared into the water the sky morphed into so many different glorious colors. We all scattered enjoying the moment in our own ways. I just planted my feet in the sand, snuggled Tobin in close, sang "Lord, I Need You", and cried, so present in the moment and wonder of God. When one of my dear friends checked on me, I told her "I see him in the sky". We hugged and cried together. Then I shared what I had been thinking about while staring at one of the most brilliant sunsets, "I wonder if Koen helps God color every night?". As the ladies returned with sand dollars and other beach treasures I was surrounded with their presence and love, and I shared with them too. We all decided that Koen did a really good job that night knowing that mom was watching. You used so many colors in your heavenly crayon box and Mommy is proud of your work that I see in the sky.
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