Celebrate the Sadness
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I have an infection

5/23/2014

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With Koen's birthday just days away it makes me uneasy to learn today that I have a urinary infection. Something that they believe may have been the cause of death for our sweet Koen, as the infection may have spread to my uterus. I have been going in for regular tests for just this reason. I will start a blast of antibiotics for a week to heal the current infection and be on another medication for the remainder of my pregnancy to assist in ensuring that an infection does not return.

I feel Tobin wiggling away today and that gives me peace. He did great at my NST yesterday, but my emotions run high as the NST is performed in the very spot we learned that Koen was gone. It is hard to escape the memories. The joy is mixed with sadness. It seems that it is one thing after another. I have been on insulin now for a week to control my blood sugar levels. This pregnancy, this year, continues to be a roller coaster. Please pray that the medicine stops the infection and that my Tobin is kept safe.

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    Author

    I am Jackie.
    I am a child of the one true King.
    I am a wife to my high school sweetheart, Kevin. 
    I am a mom to my three sons - Hackett, Koen (my little angel), and Tobin. 
    I am experiencing loss, heartache, and grief.  On May 27, 2013, at 26 weeks and 6 days I went into the hospital with contractions, only to learn that my Koen's sweet little heart had stopped beating.  
    Tobin was born July 8, 2014.
    I am on a journey . . .

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