Celebrate the Sadness
  • Blog

Growing up

5/29/2015

0 Comments

 

So I am emotional this week. Usually I am able to keep a lid on it, hold myself together, but not this week. As I remember Koen and mourn the loss of him, I find myself grieving other losses as well.  Tobin has started to walk this week, with the use of his little old man walker.  When I snuggle him, he wiggles to get down, so excited to move.  He's growing up, beginning to break away before he is even a year.  He is my last baby, so I find myself slowly saying goodbye to these stages, knowing they will not return to our home.

Hackett has transformed this year, grown up.  It makes me well up with pride and excitement to see all that he is becoming and will be, but I weep at the little boy who is no longer.  Holding my hand is now something rare and each time he does I make note of it.  That little hand lived in mine everywhere we went for years, but he is continuing to break away.  It starts with a wiggle off of your lap, then the independence of not needing your hand to be guided through the world, and before I know it he will be cruising in to the Bullock Creek Gymnasium to Pomp and Circumstance like some of my Creekers are doing tonight. He's growing up, and it seemed to happen, quite literally, overnight. 

Today at school his class did a poetry reading of poems they had authored.  His teacher had a special surprise for us, they all put baseball caps on their little heads and sang this song along with Kenny Rogers.  To hear their precious voices.  To know they have been loved so well by a teacher who wants to teach them that in life its about hanging in there and a matter of attitude, perspective.  Realizing this was my last function at his current elementary school, that we love and adore so much.  To see my big grown up guy, who was sick after striking out at bat twice this week, sing his heart out.  I just couldn't.  I couldn't hold back my big giant mommy tears, that are full of joy, love, pride, and grief, all at the same time.

And because those tears weren't enough.  I decided I needed to examine in photographs, the rapid growth, and years gone, with my Hackett.
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    I am Jackie.
    I am a child of the one true King.
    I am a wife to my high school sweetheart, Kevin. 
    I am a mom to my three sons - Hackett, Koen (my little angel), and Tobin. 
    I am experiencing loss, heartache, and grief.  On May 27, 2013, at 26 weeks and 6 days I went into the hospital with contractions, only to learn that my Koen's sweet little heart had stopped beating.  
    Tobin was born July 8, 2014.
    I am on a journey . . .

    Archives

    May 2019
    April 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    April 2018
    February 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    November 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013

    Categories

    All
    How To Help Others
    Koen's Story

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Blog