Are you going to have three, or is two enough for you? This is what I was innocently asked yesterday while getting my teeth cleaned at the dentist. The dentist, where I haven't been able to get x-rays, because I have been pregnant (or possibly pregnant) at every one of my cleanings the last two years. How do I answer these sorts of questions? It seems to change with every situation. Maybe it will always be that way? Maybe I'll get more secure and strong with answering and including Koen? Maybe as time goes on, Koen will slip further away from conversation? The thought of that brings me to tears. He will never slip away from me, but right now anyone who knows me, knows about Koen. That may not be the case in 30 years. I don't know what that will look like. I only know how I feel right now.
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I am Jackie.