Celebrate the Sadness
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11 Years

5/27/2024

19 Comments

 
Koen was born 11 years ago today on Memorial Day in 2013 and we buried him four days later.

Yesterday we spent the day as a family and it was perfect, but today I am spending a lot of time alone. I woke up at four in the morning and my first coherent thought was of Koen. How do I fall back asleep after that? This day is filled with so much.

When I greeted Tobin this morning he said “Do you know what today is? It’s Memorial Day!” And I replied, “it’s also Koen’s 11th birthday.” Tobin met that with a cheer of happiness and delight to be celebrating his brother. Tonight we said our common dinner prayer and T stopped us, saying “wait I want to pray a special prayer. Dear God, I thank you for the soldiers who died defending our freedom. Help the soldiers and Koen have a good time in heaven today.”

We quietly celebrate our curly topped 11-year-old boy today. His presence is forever missed in our home, but I am sure he is having a good day in heaven.


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    Author

    I am Jackie.
    I am a child of the one true King.
    I am a wife to my high school sweetheart, Kevin. 
    I am a mom to my three sons - Hackett, Koen (my little angel), and Tobin. 
    I am experiencing loss, heartache, and grief.  On May 27, 2013, at 26 weeks and 6 days I went into the hospital with contractions, only to learn that my Koen's sweet little heart had stopped beating.  
    Tobin was born July 8, 2014.
    I am on a journey . . .

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