11 Years

Koen was born 11 years ago today on Memorial Day in 2013 and we buried him four days later.

Yesterday we spent the day as a family and it was perfect, but today I am spending a lot of time alone. I woke up at four in the morning and my first coherent thought was of Koen. How do I fall back asleep after that? This day is filled with so much.

When I greeted Tobin this morning he said “Do you know what today is? It’s Memorial Day!” And I replied, “it’s also Koen’s 11th birthday.” Tobin met that with a cheer of happiness and delight to be celebrating his brother. Tonight we said our common dinner prayer and T stopped us, saying “wait I want to pray a special prayer. Dear God, I thank you for the soldiers who died defending our freedom. Help the soldiers and Koen have a good time in heaven today.”

We quietly celebrate our curly topped 11-year-old boy today. His presence is forever missed in our home, but I am sure he is having a good day in heaven.